AUSTRALIAN DONGER TAKES ONE FOR THE TEAM

Well, it should.

Donger? 
Those crazy Ozzies with their colourful(google is telling me this is spelt(grr) incorrectly...well, screw you google) language.
In any case, this story revolves around some drongo being sent off a fottie pitch for being in breach of the flaming rules. 


And what pray tell was his violation? Well, it was his donger of course, his old fella, his doodle (master your own oz slang here)
Anywho, during the first half of the match poor old Aaron took a direct hit to the old fellas. "Stone the crows". Queue wincing pain and raucous laughter from so called mates. 


This, of course wouldn't result in a sending off. No it was while receiving treatment (a bag of birdseye frozen peas, one assumes) that his transgression was discovered. 
It was discovered that this galah had a piercing in a rather intimate place. No, not his shoulder, that would be silly. His other intimate place. To quote: 

"At this point the referee became aware that he had a body piercing.

  "He subsequently received two yellow cards, firstly for re-entering the field of play without the referee's permission, and secondly for privacy reasons being unable to prove that he had removed the piercing."

Well isnt that a kick in the knackers. What a fruit-loop. I need to stop looking at that slang page. For those of you interested in the hilarity, watch the video below. 

LINKS!! MEANINGFUL LINKS

God left the oven open.

Crazy Chilean Volcano Pics

Amazing pictures of the Chilean Volcano erupting. We all knew a volcano in Chile was kicking off, right? 

Cyanide and Happiness

These comics are a a bit removed from Garfield and Dilbert. These guys would eat Dilbert and stuff Garfield....literally. 

Grammar Nazi

If like me, you like correcting other people's grammar but hate when your  own is called into question then this is your website. (nobody correct my grammar)

Internet Sonage

Need a song? Then go here. You could also try youtube. But this works too. 

Mood Stream

This is a really cool little gadget to play around with. 

Website Database

Finally. Cant find a website to while away hours of time. Then go here. Millions of websites broken down into categories and countries. So if you want to find out whats the number three website in Kyrgyzstan this is for you. FYI its http://odnoklassniki.ru/ 

VAN DAMME THE MAN

This week Id like to recommend a rather delightful film to watch. Known around the world as JCVD which doesnt stand for Jim Clancys Vehicle of Death (not a short lived Simpsons spinoff) about an Irish farmer with a modified death tractor. No. In fact it refers to the daddy of all 80's action movie stars. No not Stallone. No not Arnie (couldnt spell his surname and I refuse to use google.) Not even Steven Seagulll. No this acronym alludes to the wonderboy Jean Claude Van Damme.

However this incarnation of J. C. doesnt involve him being a hard target or a kick boxing master. No. This time round Jeanny takes on the his toughest role yet. He decides to tackle himself. Yes, he plays himself.

In fact I have to give him kudos for attempting this. It is certainly original. And to all those nay sayers out there who believe he cant act and his only talents revolve around kicks and punches. I urge you to watch this movie. Its not half bad.

In the movie we are presented with a withered husk of an action star. An ageing Damme is the wrong side of his grandiose youth tackling tax evasion problems and a prolonged legal battle with his ex wife. To rub salt in the wounds Steven Seagull has just beaten him to his next job. Seagull secured the role by chopping his luscious pony tail. Anything for a job Steve. The movie does draw on some real life troubles the VanDamme has experienced. i.e. tax trouble and child troubles.

To escape this bleak life in Hollywoodland, Jeanny decides to return to his homeland, Belgium where the people see him as some sort of  god, who has returned from Olympus.

Nonetheless, money troubles still haunt Dammy. Forced to make a pitstop at a local post office to pay cab fare, our hero unwittingly disturbs a robbery in progress. When police come to investigate they mistakenly believe Claude to be the perpetrator using the robbery as a means to pay his legal bills.

From here on out the story is told from several out of sync sequences ala Pulp fiction.
All in all I was surprised that I liked this movie. The last flick of Jeans that blew me away was Timecop. But I think age and nostalgia account for that.

This is at least 10 kicks better than that. Rent it, download it, ask me for a copy. But see this movie and be pleasantly surprised.