Why is it that we as a nation, cannot sit down with a glass of wine or a bottle of beer and enjoy each others company? Why is it necessary for us to drink two litres of cider and/or vodka? Sure, its terrible fun drinking till you pass out and vomit a strange blueish yellow colour of liquid. My god, you look good when this happens. Well, maybe when your 16 and that rainbow of vomit signifies to everyone that, yes, you were drinking. You are the man.
Now, you’ve grown up. Have the lessons of years gone by been forgotten? Quite possible, considering your inability to regulate your devil juice intake. We still drink ourselves into a state of George Best type stupidity. Am I Guilty of such acts of lunacy? Of course I am. However, through the wisdom of the ages I have come to realise that stealing a traffic cone at 2 in the morning or falling asleep against a wheelie bin are not the be all and end all of a good nights fun. Maybe I'm old-fashioned that way.
If those of you who believe that a drunken stupor is the bees knees (really showing my age and geekiness here) then I suggest you film your exploits on your next adventure. I can guarantee that some modicum of shame will swell up inside you. That swell is shame....not vomit. The sight of yourself with your inhibitions in tatters and fighting over a spilled drink will not endear yourself to yourself. Also the sight of a doorman throwing you out for falling down the stairs and or accidentally head butting a lady on the dance floor ,should reinforce your desire to .maybe stay home next Saturday. Good idea.
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