With new laws on their way, designed to curtail nightclub opening hours, aywtt asks:
why do we insist on going to these cattle marts?
You pay anything up to E25 euro to get in. Twenty-five fucking euro! Id expect free drinks and lapdances for that price. But no. What you get are overpriced drinks, crap music and the realisation that your younger sisters illegal friend is there, looking scarily attractive. Why is she there? Probably showed a bit of leg to the bouncer…at best. At worst she brought him round back and …….well you know what she did.
And why is the floor always sticky? You’re paying more than the GNP of a small country for a pint; why the hell would you let half of it end up on the floor? I guard my drinks with more zeal than an Auschwitz prison guard. I paid for it, I’m drinking it.
And fuck off, Johnny “gis a fag, I only smoke when I’m drinking”. If you want one, pay the ridiculous price I did. And no, I don’t want the 25 cent you’re offering me for it. I’d rather break it in half, throw it at your feet and laugh menacingly while pulling on my lovely fag, which by the way makes me look really, really cool. Leave me alone; I just want to get drunk, dance like a champion and go home with my younger sisters stunningly attractive friend. Don’t judge me.
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